One of my daughters lives 9 hrs away with her father. This is going on year 6 with her dad. She just turned 11 this past March.
Being a parent in a separate household is hard but, being a parent 9 hrs away is pretty tough to me. Especially, when it comes to rules. Which, is why communication is key. I don’t get to see or participate at school functions, games, or any other extra curricular activity she may be signed up for. But, I do make sure to call once or twice a week to see how she’s doing and to check on grades etc. These phone calls are important to both her and me. She gets to tell me how she’s doing, what’s new, how her grades are, and if she has any issues that she only wants to talk to mom about. And, I get to hear her voice and smile at how grown up she’s sounding.
Recently when I called I found out that she made all A’s and 4’s on her report card. That she is learning about the changes her body is having. Which, luckily when I went up to visit her for her birthday last month we talked a little bit about. So, I asked her if she had anymore questions about her body and we talked a little bit about that and how she’s noticing boys. Which, I am not ready for but, I know needs to be discussed. She let me know how softball is going, which, it’s been raining a lot so they haven’t got to do much. I am able to tell her I know that because I am on the coaches text list so, I get the messages about practices being canceled due to weather. This makes her feel like I am involved even though I am not there with her.
I then ask her if she has been good and she usually tells the truth lol. It’s funny because I don’t have to ask her dad or her other mom since, she tells on herself. Which, I used to do as a kid too. But, that doesn’t stop me from talking with them and asking how they choose to punish because as your children grow older punishments should change too. Plus this keeps us on the same page of our parenting technique and we can discuss how we both would like situations handled.
It’s that time of year when we send her a care package. We Usually try to send one in the spring before school lets out and in the fall a month after school starts. These packages are fun to make and easy to do. Which, also helps her know that I do care and that I do pay attention to what she likes.
Care Package Ideas:
- clothes shirts, pants, underwear, socks, etc. something they particularly like.
- favorite snack
- Journal with a note from you in the front.
- Pics of the family back home.
- presents from other family members (be sure to let your family know ahead of time.
- books, comic books, CD’s, a gift card etc.
- deodorant, body sprays, etc.