For me getting to know the person who is going to be in my child’s life is very important. I know that some of you out there are like: “OH HELL NO! No other man/woman is gonna help raise my child!!” Well, I am sorry but, that is the wrong attitude to have especially, if you care about your child. At this point it is not about you or your ex it is about your child and helping them through the process of being in two different homes. Also, letting them know that you both love your child but, things did not work out between mommy and daddy.
So, here are a few tips from my experience:
- Show interest in ex’s relationship, not to be nosy either; but, because you want to know the potential step parent in your child’s life.
- Talk to potential step parent about life where they come from and where you come from. Build a relationship with this person and become friends. Hell, if they are in it for the long hall make them like family to you.
- Share stories, laugh, joke, cry, and let them know that it is o.k. for them to help raise your child.
- Once they have been in your child’s life for awhile and you’ve gotten to know them, let them know how much you appreciate them and their help. Realize as hard as it is for you, it is just as hard on them. A step parent doesn’t have to be there for your child, they chose to be. Always, Always remember that.
- Try not to label them either. For example, I do not call Kiara’s dad’s wife step mom; I call her Kiara’s other mom 🙂 and when I am being funny I call her my baby momma lol 🙂
- Do things together, call each other and chat about life, and vent to each other when you need too. Why not that’s what family is for and if you don’t want to call them family then hey, that’s what friends are for.
- Never look at it like it’s not your responsibility to get involved with the ex’s significant other because it is. Just as much as it is for them to be involved when you move on too.
- Just remember too that you are setting an example for your children and for when they become adults. You don’t want to teach them any childish games. And you don’t want to teach them to disrespect either one of you. So, start by showing them how to be respectful!! 🙂
I honestly have built a relationship with both of the other women in my life my ex’s wife and my husband’s daughter’s mom. And I love them both and I respect them both. To me that’s what makes one big happy family without drama and with a whole lot of teamwork!! Communication is key!!