If your a family that is split up into different homes or maybe soon to be split up then, these tips are for you. As I have previously stated my family is a multi- split family. What I mean by that is: My husband has a 14 year old daughter from a previous relationship in life, I have an 11 year old daughter from a past relationship, and we have a 14 month old daughter together. In today’s world this has become more and more common. It’s not that I am promoting it because trust me I wish we weren’t a split family. It’s just that these things do happen and it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You can make it work and more importantly make it work for your children. Who by the way didn’t ask to be put in between whatever happened in your relationship/s.
Here are a few tips on how to make this type of family work:
- Forgive: whatever happened in your relationship that caused you to split leave it behind. Forgive each other and move on things happen. We all make mistakes and or sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be. Do not keep your child away from the other parent unless for good reason. For example: other parent is abusive or on drugs. Him/ Her having a new significant other is no excuse get over it. That is just jealousy and do you really want to keep your child from their parent who loves them over your jealousy? No!
- Agree on household Rules: Do not try to play the good parent your only hurting your kids and without realizing it you are making your children dislike one of their parents. Wrong and when they get older they will realize it and then it will take some time for them to forgive you for hurting them like that. For example: if dad does not like your child watching R rated movies and staying up past 9 then make that same rule in your house.
- Communicate: don’t assume that whatever your child says is the truth. Not that your kids lie it’s just that sometimes they do not fully understand and they repeat things wrong etc. For example: My daughter told her father that I didn’t give her a bath in the 4 weeks she was here lol. He got mad of course which, I did not give her a bath the whole time she was here, she took showers lol. He didn’t ask her if she had showers.
- Spend time together as one big family: go to a park, out to eat, to a movie, etc. For Example: My husbands 14 year old daughter wanted to go to a haunted hay ride for Halloween and her mom wanted to take her. My husband had to work but, I wanted to go too so, I went with with her and met up with her mom and her mom’s boyfriend and 3 other children. We had a blast and I got to know her mom, mom’s boyfriend, and her 3 other siblings. Which, is a part of her too.